Month: June 2017

Why what you think you need is not what you actually need

You’re brilliant, ambitious and sharp as a nail.

You’ve left corporate, or are about to do so, and you’re hell-bent on building your own massive vision and you’re ready to do whatever it takes in order to build your dream business.

But …

… you can’t launch the rocket and you DON’T KNOW WHY.

Welcome to the paradox of the powerful executive woman who has decided to become an entrepreneur.

***

When you’ve been exceptionally successful at some point in your life (track star, school prefect, CEO, member of boards), it’s painful to leave the establishment in the hunt with hunger for true independence … and then realise that you’ve rammed up against some invisible wall where you simply are unable to recreate that past success.

Days tick past. You wake at 3am with a vague sense of dread and frantically search the corners of your brain for the answer.

But nothing changes.

In a fog of ever-growing panic and analysis paralysis, your conventional fix for being unable to recreate your past conventional successes is to scrabble and grab at conventional solutions – another degree, a new website, a marketing campaign or funnel, a rebrand, a new hairstyle, a new wardrobe…

And yet… nothing changes.

Because, what you think you need is not what you actually need.

YOU THINK it’s the mechanics that you need.

I KNOW that what you actually need is to unleash your weirdness.

Yes.

The real reason you’re flailing and missing the mark is that you’re refusing to truly own your unleashed power (which YOU know manifests inside you as a dark, weird streak of genius – that untapped energy and essence of a dark warrior). It’s not because you’re not prepared to go all the way – HELL, NO; you’re prepared to risk it all (why come so far to only go so far?) – but you’re in that hellish limbo because you simply don’t know what this unleashed version of you truly looks like. What it sounds like. What it ACTS like.

Take it from me. You cannot forge an unconventional path by resorting to conventional thoughts, behaviours and actions. You need to burn your old brand and release your weirdness and your darkness, and unleash it on an unsuspecting world in a way that raises such merry hell that NO-ONE will know what hit them. Least of all you.

Your hungry supporters, clients and lovers that are waiting just for you will not follow someone who is still in their own boring, conventional paradigm. Only when you are fully in your new paradigm – the one your supporters, clients and lovers desire to be in; the one where politeness dies on the altar of genius – will you be able to convert them and transform them to your dark ways so they, in turn, can unleash themselves.

AND – you need to see that it is not only easy to access your genius weirdness, it’s the key to EVERYTHING. You need to see that what always happens when your inner and outer ‘brands’ are out of alignment – illness, divorce, anger, anxiety, stress, addiction – doesn’t have to be your fate. You need to see that it’s okay to trust that being fully you will be okay.

As a powerful executive women who ‘has a lot to lose’ if you come out of the closet, and an immense fear of losing your hard-won reputation – and believe me, it’s a truly unique struggle – it’s imperative that you understand that not only will you NOT lose your reputation (not in the way you think, anyway), but what you’ll build in its place will provide just as much wealth and prestige, as well as freedom from anxiety and stress, and immense peace of mind, and that you will find a world you don’t have to hide from and people who really get you. The sooner you understand and act on this, the sooner you will enter the upper realms of success.

This knowledge is why I coined the term Dark Branding and why I am so compelled to talk about the absolute fucking imperative for some women to ‘burn your brand’ – because it’s my experience, it’s my success, it’s my genius, and it’s how my clients experience success. I live and teach and live the integral components of the dark goddess energy: death in the service of rebirth.

And the practical, ‘superficial’ result of this unleashing? You become incomparable, unignorable and uncontrollable. It’s freaking branding genius. It’s a motherfucking epic way to project and present and package your image.

And the deeper result, of course, is that you can be you. You no longer have to be afraid of BEING you, or be afraid OF you. Let me tell you, from personal experience, that THAT is one unfuckwithable result.

And once I understood this – that the only option left was to fully be my weird self; to always speak my unfiltered truth, no matter the risk or the consequences – these are the results I got; peace of mind and success on a level light years beyond what I imagined possible. It’s also the result my clients get, once they understand what needs to be done, and take action on this.

And of course, if you also want these results, this is why you must come out in your own life completely and totally and RIGHT NOW.

Otherwise you will simply not be able to step through the threshold that you have to step through.

#dangerouswoman #dangeroustruth

THE PUSSYCAT MUST DIE

When you are out of lives, the pussycat must die.

***

A couple of years ago, I realised I’d used up my nine lives. I had no more chances to mess around – and by this, I mean living the wrong life. Creating success in the wrong way. Not being myself.

Don’t get me wrong, my life was seemingly great – it’s just that it wasn’t the life for me. I was living some other woman’s life. I had always known I was unusual, weird, an alien, a misfit; highly intelligent and intuitive and insightful and destined for something great. But because I couldn’t see how to be this in a world that mostly wasn’t this, I decided I must be ‘wrong’, and that I had to join the masses on the conventional plane, on the conventional path to success.

So, I became a pussycat. I said what I thought should be said, I did what I thought should be done, I became what I thought I should be… purring for people so that they were more comfortable in my presence. Neat and preened and well-behaved so as not to get kicked out of the house.

Because of this diminishment of my true power, because I went on to do it for so long (about 20 years), I became a disjointed animal – a pussycat on the outside, and on the inside, a tiger pacing a cage, looking desperately for escape. House-trained… yet inherently feral.

Because I didn’t believe there was an escape (because you are yourself wherever you go; and if you don’t know how to be yourself, you are not yourself everywhere you go), the extraordinary energy that was meant to be channelled into being myself was instead channelled into anxiety, anger and addiction.

Sometimes something would give, and in an unguarded moment, the tiger would lash out. I’d get a slap on the paw from a society that didn’t like wildness of any kind – and because I still didn’t know how to own or control this power I had, I would retreat to lick my wounds.

Of course, this led to wave after wave of escalating mental and physical breakdowns (although no-one would have known it from the outside, because I was so successful and looked so together… oh, how prevalent this is among successful women). I overcame each, with increasing difficulty. My body, mind and spirit were literally telling me: enough. But I was not listening.

When the most recent breakdown happened, I knew it would be the last. This was my last chance to listen – if I did not, I knew that the next physical and mental wake-up call would be fatal. Either metaphorically fatal, extinguishing the last remaining flicker of the unusual transformational power within me, or literally fatal, as something exploded inside my brain or my heart.

But how to make the escape? Or, how to burn the shoulds, and emerge as myself? As that weird, intuitive, intellectual transformational leader I knew I was (and had known since I was seven)?

As terrifying as it was, I knew ¬– and had always known – what the answer was.

The only way was to kill the pussycat and unleash the tiger – let my true claws come out. Let my bite be my bite.

And it had to happen overnight. A quantum leap. A warrior move.

As painful as this would prove to be (my life did not get easier; it got infinitely harder… but it also got infinitely BETTER), I had reached the point of utter urgency where it had become far less painful to change than to stay where I was. A horrifying yet miraculous realisation. If you have reached this tipping point, you are one of the lucky ones; seize the chance for what it is – and step through the portal.

And oh, was it worth it. My unleashed tiger turned out to be a fire-breathing dragon, capable of extraordinary things.

Now, I do what I want, when I want; I say what I want, when I want. Now I am not afraid – of anything, least of all my own power. Now I have my own ‘agency’, my own authority. Now I make more in one week than I used to in a year, telling other trapped, successful women how to kill the pussycat. Showing them how to burn down their old brand so they can unleash the real one.

Only you know if you are out of lives. Extraordinary power is possible if you are prepared to step through the portal.

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HOW A SANITISED SOUL STIFLES SUCCESS

I make my way in the world...I am a genius at recognising a sanitised soul in an otherwise outwardly successful person. I can see what they need to burn, and what they need to become. Some take my advice, some don’t. The reason I can see it so clearly (like Munch’s ‘The Scream’ in my head), and why it physically and mentally repels me so much, is because I also have a sanitised soul.

It is my daily battle to unsanitise it. To do what I want to do, and say what I want to say. It is a battle because I know that the unsanitised version of my soul is too much for most to handle. But I must fight on – not because I care whether it helps you in any way, but because I know I have no other option. It has become my job.

The sanitised soul is the true tragedy of modern society. It is why what needs to be said is left unsaid. Why what needs to be done, is left undone. It is why the bar is so low, why the vision is so vanilla. Why wild girls don’t become wild women who go on to become warriors who change the world – but become high-achieving CEOs who watch Wonder Woman with their wild little daughters and cry inside because it’s actually what they wanted to become (and dream of for their daughters).

It is quite literally, the stolen, sedated and the sold soul.

The starved soul.

The screaming soul.

What does it look like?

  • The executive who sits in her expensive suit with her perfect hair and beige stockings in yet another boardroom meeting filled with men (while silently screaming inside her skull that she simply MUST be unleashed to raise merry hell)
  • The CEO who is required to show up every day NOT as her self in order to do her job – and who goes home every night to a relationship with someone who, yes again, requires her to NOT be herself (while silently screaming inside her skull that here, see, the most amazing version of myself is begging to be noticed and loved and revered)
  • The corporate achiever who has done everything right along the way, yet who keeps banging against a ceiling of such force with such ferocious, unfulfilled energy that she has entered into paralysis; one foot on the brake, one on the accelerator (while silently screaming inside her skull that if she could just be let loose she would EXPLODE into action and audacity and people wouldn’t see her for dust)

All have been brainwashed into believing they must sanitise their soul – or sacrifice success. Which is one of the greatest illusions there is (for the only secret to astronomic success is to be the unsanitised version of you).

And the higher the echelons of success, and the greater the risk to be taken (and the further to fall), the more prevalent the cult of the sanitised soul is. The sanitised soul exists through all of society, of course, but it is most painful to see in the rarified world of the CEO, the executive, the corporate achiever – because there you will find the very people who MUST unleash their unsanitised souls because they have the most power to challenge the status quo, to speed up true transformation, to shift the PC paradigm… and yet…

You think I’m being melodramatic?

No – this could not be more critical; it becomes a matter of life or death for some. I can make you aware to what you already know (you wake at 3am with that vague, subterranean panic about your life), but I frankly couldn’t care less if you want to ignore the warning signs. I’m in this for myself. BUT you should be under no illusion that, one day, your soul will win. It will kick up such an almighty fuss that something will break – your sanity, your health, your career, your relationships…

Trust me: unsanitise your sanitised soul now, before the damage is done.

 

 

 

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