Month: November 2015

What kept me playing small?

The concept of ‘playing small’ struck me between the eyes this year.

I’d spent several years dancing at the edges of what my niggle was. (I say niggle, but I was regularly lying awake at night, sweating over my general life dissatisfaction.) I was successful, but never, ever satisfied.

No amount of job changes or freelance business rebrands or reading of blogs such as Zen Habits or the starting of new projects (even a quickly abandoned Masters degree) had slayed whatever gremlin lay at the core of my overwhelming frustration.

Then early in 2015, confined to bed while recovering from an unexpected operation, I stopped my bullshit. I did some serious work on my values, my desires and my deepest, darkest fears. It was challenging and revealing and, at times, fucking confronting.

Because I learnt that I’ve been playing small.

This simple revelation sits at the core of all of my anger and frustration and discontent.

And why had I been playing small?

Because I was terrified of my own power.

Friends and colleagues would already describe me as powerful and influential; but I know that they don’t know the half (the tenth!) of what I feel inside myself. I recognise now that I’ve always pulled back on my personality, tamed my craziness, hidden my darkness, played ‘dumb’, and kept my business at a certain level… and for what? To avoid offending or frightening people who are not like me; to avoid making them feel insecure. It’s taken me until now to realise the high personal price I’ve been paying for that approach (and the highest price of all is the wasted opportunity to help others stop playing small, to liberate others through my own liberation). But, no more.

If, like me, you’ve always felt you were powerful – pictured powerful things when you were a little girl (the 7-year-old me imagined floating above the planet with my wings wrapped right around it), felt immense energy within your adult self that’s dying to get out and expand – but you’re stuck and frustrated and seeking and scrabbling for why the hell you feel this way, I urge you to look at whether you’re keeping yourself small simply because you’re scared of your own power and what will happen when you let it go.

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Are you a Dangerous Woman?

A Dangerous Woman…

  • … is an icon of her industry
  • … is anything but average (is unusual, complicated, rebellious, candid…)
  • … values freedom, abundance, her own authority and independence
  • … knows that telling her story is the secret to standing out
  • … turns heads wherever she goes
  • … is unapologetically herself
  • … knows that what makes her different, makes her stronger
  • … has strong opinions and isn’t afraid to voice (and live) them
  • … knows that her secrets are life experiences to be shared to inspire others
  • … has mastered how to make her fears work for her
  • … constantly raises the bar and challenges other women to do the same
  • … has always known she’s destined to be different, powerful and have influence

A Dangerous Woman in-the-making

  • … is lying awake every night wanting and wondering how to fully expand into the above
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What makes you different, makes you stronger

Hello my Dangerous Woman,

If you’re female, know you’re destined to have an impact, are frustrated you can’t be yourself AND have just realised you’re channeling your energy into the ‘wrong’ career, let me show you what I mean when I say “what makes you different, makes you stronger”.

I’m a successful writer, editor, stylist and brand expert. After a turbulent year, physically and mentally, I’ve come to the galvanising realisation that I’ve been wasting my time, spinning my wheels in a variety of different roles that haven’t even come close to scratching the surface of what I have (and want) to offer. Not to mention I’ve been hiding the real me in fear of ‘offending’ people. Now, it’s time to stop playing small and get serious. To be unapologetically, dangerously different, and reap the rewards and recognition due to any Dangerous Woman. 

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